


in which Aaron and Robert slip up and sleep together

by theyoungv_eins



Series: Drabbles/Prompts [3]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, M/M, Uneventful and bad, very short sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2018-01-09
Packaged: 2019-01-29 20:35:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12638691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theyoungv_eins/pseuds/theyoungv_eins
Summary: “This,” Aaron says, raspy and quiet, “can’t happen again.”--aftermath, of sortsthis is bad don't read it





	1. [one]

**Author's Note:**

> hey sorry this sucks it's 1am but i just wanted to write, even if it is a tiny piece of shit like this  
> it's been a while since i wrote something huh??? had a lot a lot goin on

Robert stares at the back of Aaron’s head for what feels like hours. He’s sitting on the side of the bed, facing away from Robert with his head in his hands.

They’re both still processing it.

It doesn’t feel real. Kissing Aaron again. Getting to feel the weight of his body on his for the first time in what feels like forever. The hand against his throat, and Robert hissing, “Do it,” because he trusts him, or he’d die for him. Or both. Aaron just kissing him harder.

After so long, it doesn’t feel real to Robert at all.   

Aaron raises his head, and Robert has to hold his breath. This is it. It could go anywhere from here. 

He’s thought about it. Every day, he’s thought about what would happen if _just once_ , they were reunited like this. All the different ways it might go, how it could end, how it could change their lives.

“This,” Aaron says, raspy and quiet, “can’t happen again.”

Oh.

Robert looks down at his hands. The situation feels far too familiar. Except, now the roles are reversed, and he feels even worse.

Is this how Aaron felt, back when it was Robert saying those same words? Like he wasn’t wanted – like he was a _mistake_?

It hurts. He’s not used to being heartbroken, but now it’s all he ever feels.

“Aaron,” Robert starts, but he stops himself almost immediately after. What can he do? Try and _beg_ Aaron to stay with him? They both know that won’t work.

So, he doesn’t say anything. He just lets Aaron get dressed. Watches as he gathers up his things and puts on his boots. Closes his eyes as Aaron leans down to kiss him on the lips because he just can’t resist. Cries as Aaron closes the door behind him and leaves again.


	2. [two]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s like they never stopped, Robert thinks, as he wraps himself around Aaron. He finds himself all over again in the press of Aaron’s rough fingers and the scrape of his beard.

_“This,” Aaron says, raspy and quiet, “can’t happen again.”_

Except, it does happen again. Then, a third time. A fourth, a fifth, until Robert starts to lose count.

Aaron tries not to look at him, and Robert just takes what he can get. He lets Aaron shove him against walls, bite his skin, fuck him as hard as he wants. He takes it, because it’s _Aaron_ , and he just can’t resist.

And it helps, sometimes. Sleeping with Aaron is a good distraction, he thinks, from all of the Rebecca and Seb drama, and with Vic being a mess after Adam leaving. Maybe (probably) that’s just an excuse – something to tell himself so he won’t feel as guilty as he should.

They shouldn’t be doing this. Robert tried so hard for so long to just let Aaron and Alex be together – but he’s felt so lonely for so long, that he just can’t help himself.

They’re both completely consumed by _want_ for each other.

It’s like they never stopped, Robert thinks, as he wraps himself around Aaron. He finds himself all over again in the press of Aaron’s rough fingers and the scrape of his beard.

It’s the same as it always was. The same sense of urgency, as Aaron grips Robert’s hair tightly and presses their lips together in a kiss. The same roughness when Aaron traps Robert against the bed with his body and pins his arms down above his head. The same sweetness because, after they eventually become more comfortable with each other, Aaron kisses his shoulder afterwards, and wraps his arms around him, and goes straight to sleep.

And then Alex finds out.

There’s yelling, and there’s tears, and then there’s Aaron showing up at Robert’s doorstep. He shoves Robert as he pushes past him.

“We shouldn’t have kept doing this,” he says, and Robert just perches on the arm of the couch as Aaron paces the living-room.

He waits for Aaron to stop pacing, covering his eyes with his hand, until he asks, “What’s happened?”

When Aaron looks at him, there are tears in his eyes. It breaks Robert’s heart to see him hurt like this. “I told Alex. He’s gone.”

“I’m sorry,” is all Robert can get out. Aaron scoffs.

Aaron liked him – he’s handsome, smart, kind. He’s a good guy, but he deserves more than someone who could never truly be his. Aaron knows this, and so does Robert. Alex knows this too – probably did the whole time. And yet he, just like Robert, took all that he could get.

“This isn’t what you wanted all along?” Aaron hisses. He knows it’s not. He _knows_ , but he’s upset and angry, and wants to lash out.

“You know it isn’t,” Robert tells him. “I want you to be happy. Whoever you’re happy with.”

“Then why would you let _this,_ ” Aaron gestures between them, “happen?”

Robert doesn’t know how to answer. Selfishness, want, or maybe _need_ – he’s not sure. It’s not like he was forcing Aaron to continue to sleep with him. Every sexual encounter they had was on Aaron’s terms. He could’ve stopped whenever he wanted.

But he didn’t.

Aaron sighs, long and loud. He rubs a hand over his mouth. “I’m sorry.” He steps closer to Robert and reaches out. Tentatively brushes his fingers against his arm. “I need time.” _To think, to find myself again, to learn how to move forwards_ remains unsaid.

“Okay,” is all Robert says. He just watches Aaron leave, and ignores the pang of _something_ low in his stomach. Guilt, giddiness – he doesn’t know.

All he can do now is watch Aaron leave from the window, just as he has for the last couple of months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ha ha i'm not sure if this is good or not it's 2 am yet again. hope the pacing is fine and it's not disjointed and there are no errors and all the usual stuff
> 
> thanks for reading - glad i actually got this finished!!!!!!!!!!   
> might find a better name for this one

**Author's Note:**

> im on tumblr [@wefllag-n](http://wefllag-n.tumblr.com)


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